Wednesday, September 25, 2013

The Awkward Pause...

There it is, the awkward pause. Its there the moment I answer the question. Followed by the look. Avoided eye contact and they aren't sure what to say. They don't want to hurt my feelings. They're uncomfortable.

The question itself varies but the gist is always the same "So what happened? Why did you two divorce?". They aren't digging for scandalous answers, most inquirers already have an expected answer.

My response is not expected and is one that is usually repressed, ignored and just not talked about at brunch. My answer is  "Domestic Violence."  Domestic Violence is what caused my divorce. Dun dun dun... my answer is a mood killer, a conversation stopper, and it's truth.  It's unnerving and it's one of the topics my mom used to elbow me about... 'Kristal, honey, we don't talk about things like that. It makes people feel bad."

But the truth is, it doesn't make me feel bad. I don't feel shame. In fact, it makes me feel bad NOT talking about it. Not writing about it. Not feeling it. But most importantly, it makes me feel bad not sharing it.

I didn't have some fairy tale ending or wake up with some amazing revelation to make my story so much better or so much more inspiring. I simply survived. I'm still surviving. The point is... I got out.

No more awkward pauses. No more shame. No more silence.

There is hope and there is help. If you need a list of resources available to you please send me a message or notify your local police department. Let's fight back.


  1. I think it should be talked about. You have no shame, you are such a strong girl now. You got out of a weakness that many cannot leave from, you are a hero. In glad your sharing.

  2. I'm sorry! Proud of you for getting out! and showings your boys that a women should not be treated like that!