Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Steel and the number eleven

Today is July 9th, 2013. Today is my would-be 11th wedding anniversary.

Traditionally, Mr. X and I would be giving each other lovely gifts made of steel. Steel is given to represent strength and endurance.  And it does. I am stronger today than the me who stood next to Mr. X eleven years ago. And I definitely endured.  I don’t know if Mr. X is stronger and I don’t care. I’d like to hope so, but some people never change and I’m betting he’s one of the changeless kind.

I can’t help but to point out the irony that falls on this year’s gift of Steel. Steel bars... is my gift to Mr. X. I hope that as he sits on his concrete bed staring at and past those steel bars, he reflects on today. That the steel bars that hold him in that small cell remind him of the strength I finally found. I may not have been physically strong enough to stop his attacks.  I was, however, strong enough to stand in front of the judge and an overflowing courtroom to explain in explicit detail what he had done to me. And that is real strength. That is the real strength Mr. X will never have. That is the real strength that pushed the button that slammed the steel bars shut. My strength stopped him. I had endured.

So happy anniversary Mr. X… I sincerely hope Bubba is being nice to you today. 


  1. You are one of the most strongest girls I know Kristal. I am so glad you're my sister! I look up to you and you inspire me to be a great mama. I love you and am so very proud of you <3

  2. I concur, Here's to your strength my dear, because you have the strength of steel and beyond, and what you did took courage others may never truly understand!