My public apology to the Wal Mart Patron I swore at...

I swore at a Wal Mart patron. 

And not to brag,  but my child also survived the trip. Much to his momma’s surprise.

The trip to Wal Mart was supposed to be short and sweet (aren’t they all…). And for the first fifteen minutes, we were doing awesome. Then I mentioned winter coats. My seven year old lost it. Like LOST IT. He, apparently, is allergic to winter coats and wanted a camouflage jacket because, he is a hunting man. This allergic reaction apparently causes loud outbursts and screams that are glass shattering loud and are comparative to the sounds one would make while having a limb ripped from the body.

We walked around the boys clothing department for several minutes. Each agonizing minute I was telling myself he was almost done. He wasn’t. He wanted to leave the store and go home.  I am not sure how he wasn’t embarrassed. I, his momma, was mortified and upset. The looks we got were obscene. I tried mouthing the words I’m sorry. I tried to ignore them. I couldn’t. This momma was broken and suffering from a ruptured ear drum. 

I just felt sorry. Sorry for myself, sorry for my son, and sorry for the general public within a 5 mile radius.

So when I not only got “the glare”, but the accompanying words that did me in “if I was that mom I’d…”. It was Momma’s turn to lose it. And I did. I looked at her and I said the following; “Lady, I can f*** ing stare also.” And I turned and stepped off my soap box and pushed my cart out of the boys clothing department and into further embarrassment. Did I really just say those words? In front of my children?

I did. And I knew that I did because my son had stopped his screaming fit and was now standing with his mouth agape.  Horrified, I quickly left the vicinity in search of a hiding place. Was I going to be kicked out of Wal Mart? WAL MART??? I figured now was a good time to get out of the store before I continued my rampage and swore at any more of the onlookers. I was distracted then, by the familiar shrieking of a perturbed seven year old starting up again.  Awesome. (Yes, you read that right…seven.) I nearly ran to the checkout.

The screaming continued until we reached line #1. Despite my demanding, threatening, bargaining, and near begging for him to stop, he didn’t. I wanted to cry. Instead, I knelt down to his level and I hugged my yowling victim of winter coat allergies. I hugged him. He melted into my arms. This little ball of screeching was tired. He was frustrated and tired and he needed love. He needed to be reprimanded as well, but first he needed to be reminded that he was loved. As my arms released him, he looked at me with his red puffy eyes and he said the words I’d been hoping to hear. The words I probably needed to say to that woman, he said “I’m sorry”.

Thinking back on this,  I feel bad for the helpless woman I swore at.  And I say helpless, in that I probably wouldn’t have been able to control my staring either had I been in her place.  And I’d like to think that Caler taught me a lesson. You can always say you’re sorry. It doesn’t erase the action, but at least you’re making steps to correct it. So please consider this my public apology to the wal mart patron I swore at. 

And yes kids... I did wash my mouth out with soap.